January 2013
I am so tired of not having anyone to do things with. I just wish for once someone would call me and ask if I wanted to come over or go swimming or just do absolutely nothing so long as it involved me leaving my house. It’s really sad when you can’t even remember the last time you stayed at a friends place.
Everything I have been feeling for the last week is just becoming...
Question Time.
1: What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
Made love.
2: Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make them.
3: Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4: Did anyone close to you die?
Someone who used to be close to me.
5: What countries did you visit?
None, unfortunately.
6: What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012
Direction, purpose, motivation.
7: What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
5/4, 18/7, 21/7, 30/8 - These are all important dates in regards to the relationship I am currently in.
8: What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Passing year twelve with absolutely no effort or care.
Managing to sneak people in an out of my house continuously without my parents knowing.
Yeah.. I'm such an over achiever ..
9: What was your biggest failure?
Throwing away something that used to be important to me.
Giving up on myself.
10: Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes.
11: What was the best thing you bought?
Nothing in particular stands out.
14: Where did most of your money go?
To waste.
15: What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My boyfriend asking me to move to Europe with him, although that has sufficiently lessened..
16: What song will always remind you of 2012?
Gangnam style, Call me maybe.. They aren't even songs -.-
On a special note - In My Haze by Horrorshow
17: Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
I think in ways I'm happier than I was, and in other ways I'm sadder. If you can make sense of that.
Fatter, thank god.
Poorer..
18: What do you wish you’d done more of?
Gone to school, left the house, anything remotely productive.
19: What do you wish you’d done less of?
Wasting days in bed.
20: How did you spend Christmas?
Sick, slightly emotional and very sleepy. But with family none the less
21: Did you fall in love in 2012?
I did.
22: What was your favourite TV program?
I stopped watching TV.
23: Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Not hate, but dislike.
24: What was the best book you read?
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
25: What was your greatest musical discovery?
Foals
26: What did you want and get?
Someone to share everything with
27: What did you want and not get?
A bestfriend who understood me, who I could spend everyday with.
And some idea of what to do in the future.
28: What was your favourite film of this year?
The Perks of Being a Wallflower, really glad they decided to translate it to screen.
29: What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having my own unit.
30: How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Lazy and full of comfort..
31: What kept you sane?
Louis.
32: Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Josh Hutchinson and Ryan Gosling.
33: What political issue stirred you the most?
There's a long list..
34: Who did you miss?
All the people who aren't in my life anymore..
Right now my boyfriend more than anything.
35: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
I really don't think I learnt anything valuable..
36: Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I just, just have to let this thing be good to me
So I'll be gone for a while
Hide and seek behind my smile
But for now I'm not around so don't look for me
Don't look for me
December 2012
Whilst being drunk and at a party : yeah fuck yeah nothing matters I'm so happy why do I even stress about anything ever everyone's my friend fun times are fun I am so happy I don't even care that I'm disgracing myself coz everythings totally okay woo yeah happy happpy fuck being sad I love everyone.
The next day: I fucking hate myself I am an idiot I am never drinking or doing anything again from now on my body is a temple and everyone probably hates me.
